Flowers Growing In The Cracks Now

                                                             Giant Buddha, Hong Kong


"Habitual Patterns Can Be Unhealthy" was the blog post on January 20. I pointed out how we can hurt ourselves with poor posture. Today our blog is about other kinds of habitual patterns and a loving and forgiving way of viewing efforts to change those patterns.


I am not a Buddhist but I love many of the Buddhist philosophical ideas.


I've recently become familiar with the teachings of Pema Chodrin, a Tibetan Buddhist Nun originally from New Jersey. This morning I listened to her True Happiness Disc #3. I was struck by a message from this teaching that I thought worthwhile to share with you.


Two important ideas at the root of her teachings - 


*We are meant to be happy
*One of the keys to being happy is to have great compassion for yourself, to respect yourself, all aspects of yourself 

Pema - "We hold the view that we are bad."


We are bad because we smoke, drink too much, eat wrong, participate in harmful sexual activity, are critical of others, have extreme envy, lie, say bad things to hurt people, steel, smoke, do drugs, worry, cheat, curse. The truth is - we are not bad. Maybe some of our behaviors, habitual behaviors are not healthy but, we are not bad. 

When you decide that you will refrain from unhealthy behavior three things might happen.


1- You just stop - somehow you completely understand that it is harmful to you. No outer (an injury) or inner (resistance of some kind) obstacles get in the way. You just don't want to do this to yourself anymore. You give up the short term happiness (eating what is harmful, being critical) for the long term happiness. There is NO DOUBT in your mind. 


2- Half-hearted Faith in yourself - Sometimes you refrain from the unhealthy behavior and sometimes you don't. And even when you're refraining the crave is still there. Pema says this is the place most of us hang out for a long time... stuck between idealistic notions of how you want things to be and your human frailty. She says this is THE place we learn compassion for ourselves and for others.

Pema - "Don't be harsh on yourself."


BELOW IS THE IMPORTANT PART I WANTED TO SHARE WITH YOU


Is there any benefit from this half-hearted faith in yourself, this middle place?

Pema - "The Buddha says there will definitely be great benefits and great results and the benefit from this will never, ever be lost and it will eventually lead to great awakening. More and more you will learn the healthy path. Just that you are a person who would consider this goal is of great benefit."


If you find yourself in this place, don't be discouraged and don't criticize yourself. Don't think ill of yourself. THERE IS ALWAYS SOME SENSE THAT YOU CAN START FRESH.


3- Almost 100% doubt. You still believe that pleasure is most important. You are willing to suffer the consequences of the unhealthy behavior. 


How many times have we set a goal, perhaps a New Years goal, with the good intention of reaching that goal and ended up abandoning it? In 2 hours or 2 days or several weeks or months, we are once again slugging out in front of the T.V. instead of going for a walk, eating chips and drinking soda instead of a crisp apple, criticizing our mate for this or that instead of being constructive. Not only do we revert back to our unhealthy behavior, we feel terrible about ourselves for being weak. This deepens our pain. It has happened to all of us.


Moving toward health and happiness is a journey with ups and downs. The downs are part of the path. 

Pema talks about how we cement over ourselves to protect ourselves. And how little cracks start appearing in the cement and what can grow out of those little cracks? Grass she says.

I like that image. And we can take it a little further and say -

  flowers..... in cracks of cement

....and in rock even

The trick is to stop cementing over your pain. Face it instead and know that you are not alone in your pain. Ask that you and all people with this pain be free of this suffering and the root of suffering. Stop cementing over your unhealthy habit. We sometimes cement over twenty times before we finally succeed. The trick is to love yourself enough to take really good care of you, to learn to sew seeds of happiness through compassion for your self, to then see the "No Doubt" path and go there. Just go there.

I have recently been successful at ELIMINATING excessive worry, trying to fix things, and guilt I was holding on to. I feel very liberated. I've been working on this for years.....maybe cemented over 200 times even! Then I got serious.......

                                                hahahahahahahahahah............

A friend sent this in an email this morning.

I'm reading this book called "Your possible life" and there's a quote by Pema C.:

"Even if you live to be 100,

It's really a very short time.

So why not spend it undergoing this process of evolution,

of opening your mind and heart,

connecting with your true nature....

rather than getting better and better at

fixing, grasping and closing doors."

With every best wish,
Donna Rae, age 59 1/12  Ha!! Happy February 1st!